Am I the only one that's frustrated? This world of social media, cell phones, and technology! Instant gratification, going viral, dancing in front of your cell phone, followers, likes. Where are we all headed? It freaks me out! The sincere anxiety about the impact this all has on our society, my friends, my family, and especially those growing up in this tech-enforced world, keeps me up at night. And you want to know something crazy? I make a living working for a software company!! But in my mind, there is technology that adds value, improves your life, removes a burden, or automates a task. On the contrary, there is technology that formulates this world of "fake" realities, acceptance of violence, perceived perfection, and empty morals. People today spend more time thinking about their latest Instagram post and how "cool" their friends will think their life is, then actually enjoying the experience they are experiencing while snapping the series of selfies. Next time you're on vacation, scan the room, the beach, the ancient archaeological site. Just watch. Very few really care about the experience or the memory being made at that moment. In fact, very few are actually living in that moment. Nope, they are already on to monitoring the number next to the heart, star, or thumb. And I guess I can sit back and slowly watch social media take over the world in which my children now live. I can also tell myself that this is the world we live in today so just accept it. But that's just not who I am. I will push back and do something about it. What do I have to lose? In fact, today, I have decided to do something about it, hence this blog post. I've decided this evening to sit down and take a minute to really evaluate my family and the quality of time we spend together. How much has technology robbed us of minutes, hours, and days, from spending quality time together? So do this with me. Look back. Look back for all of those stories that you will live to tell years from now.. You know those stories, like the Lifetime movies we end up watching when nothing else is on? Where we are all bundled in cozy pajamas, snuggled by the fire, sipping hot chocolate, quietly smiling at each other, and playing a delightful game of Scrabble. We all do that right? As I start to formulate the image in my own head, I start to align that image to my lifetime story. Not quite the same. The fire won't start, the kids are both on their iPads and won't get off, my husband and I are trying our best to sneak in a few emails on our phones. As we try and play a game of Sequence (true story that happened this weekend!), my girls spend the first 15 minutes complaining about playing a game and us taking away their phones (how could we?), and the last 15 minutes fighting over who's turn it was last. The tragic piece, as I dissect the scene, is we aren't really paying attention to each other. Yikes!
Yes, my kiddos (ages 5 and 8) love their iPhones, iPads and Kindles, and the latest YouTube video posted by the family channels they've become addicted to watching. All of their friends have phones. All of their friends play Roblox. And while I know they love to ride bikes in the driveway and attend their weekly gymnastics classes, what I really discovered in my reflection is that my husband and I spend a lot of time telling my children "No" or "Stop" and "It's time to get off your phone". Double yikes!! And even worse, we sometimes actually allow (or even encourage) time on technology, in hopes that we will have 30 minutes to get some work or household chores done. And what I'm realizing in this reflection is that we spend almost no time delivering alternatives to the technology. When's the last time I said, "Let's go to the park?" "Let's make a fort and read some books?" It's been months, maybe even a year! As a dual income family, both with very stressful days in chaotic careers, it's so easy for the daily family time to get pushed to the side. For goodness sake, I'm tired most evenings and some nights it takes everything I have just to put together dinner and get homework done. But the last thing I want is to look back on my life and kick myself for not making more of an effort to cherish each day as a family. To step in and not let technology become the role model for my incredibly naive and innocent kiddos. I have battled this issue in my head every day for years. Have you felt the same? I've even sat my family down a few times, insisting we spend more time together. Unfortunately, it just becomes a thoughtful effort for a week or so, before quickly fading away. What I've realized for myself is that I need to find a tool or a system to push this dream along. I need a framework, something that is simple and easy to execute.
So today, I've decided to create this idea of The Family Bucket. Our Bucket will ensure every day that we as a family are setting aside time to spend together, in a creative, engaging, playful way. I here now pledge that I will stop allowing technology to play a role in our family time, and start accomplishing a long list of memory-filled, exciting, and cherished activities together. Each day, we will add to The Family Bucket. Yes, every day. Seems like a mighty tall order, but in lieu of holding myself accountable, I am creating this blog to ensure that there is no way out of this --- we will do this! And my hope is that maybe by putting it out there and getting these ideas on paper (or the web), other families will find their own way into their own list and begin enjoying their own journey together as a family.
So why now? What was the trigger that prompted action? It was a comment made by a dear friend recently. He said, "You know, the days are long and the years are short." Isn't that so true? I look back at pictures and it felt like just yesterday we were bringing my youngest home from the hospital. It makes me so emotional! How fast the years fly by!! But then there are some days that seem to go on forever and ever, while I'm racing to pick up someone from soccer and get another to dance, meanwhile squeezing in a grocery shop and a few calls. Among all the hustle and bustle, I wish someone had stopped me. I wish they would have mentioned something earlier. Think about this fact. You will only have 18 summers with your kids! 18!! Not 50, not 100, but only 18 (if you're lucky!). Sure after your children turn 18 you might continue to go on vacation or have dinner together here and there, but it is such a short amount of time in which you can build a long list of incredible memories together (and when your kids actually want to be with you!). Life is so precious and family time is way too important to allow these years to just pass you by These years should definitely not get wasted on mind warping technology!
Introducing The Family Bucket. What is it? What does it represent? I am a very visual person and I needed a way of really organizing my thoughts, visualizing the progress we are making, and establishing a theme to the goals we are achieving as a family --- much like adding pages to a scrapbook, or pins to a cork board, or dropping memories in a bucket. Today, I can see our future of The Family Bucket overflowing with perfect (and imperfect) memories, sincere happiness, laughter, excitement, new experiences, great times that we will cherish forever. Good bye iPhone and hello Family!!